I had no idea that it would be. Those of you who see me on a regular basis will know that I am currently looking for somewhere to buy and I can’t seem to talk about anything else.

I underestimated how much energy the whole endeavour would require; not least because I am looking at buying through the government’s Help to Buy and Shared Ownership schemes. If you don’t know anything about these feel free to chat to me about it in person sometime. But here, I don’t want to bore you with too much detail, other than to say it can be long winded and there are always hoops to jump through just to book a viewing.

I dither about buying in general. I am nervous about the market, I don’t want to buy and get saddled with something that depreciates in value. And I get caught in a loop of thinking that I wish I’d had the flat share experience even just for a little, just like the series Friends.  But then I remember that a), I am hoping to find somewhere I like enough to stay for at least 5 years b) Friends is a TV show!

In February, I met with an estate agent. My expectations of how estate agents work were formed entirely from watching Kirsty and Phil. But the estate agent I did find didn’t know which way was up, who I was and rushed the appointment. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. Shopping at the government assisted end of the market probably doesn’t generate much commission. Apparently this experience of estate agents is common.

I definitely could have used Kirsty and Phil’s help. When I see unfurnished properties I just can’t get my head around where anything would go. Where my house hunting imagination/ visualisation should be are instead endless reels of my BAFTA acceptance speech/ comedy writing/ some sort of action movie, starring me, where I save the world or maybe just London coz that’s more manageable. London or the world are so grateful they name a street after me and call it…Shamiso’s Way.

Side note: if you could have a street named after you, what would you call it to make it stand out? What kind of street is it? Is there parking?

Anyhow Shamiso’s Way takes on cultural meaning where the phrase comes to mean a zen like way of life and I guess it becomes a religion really. I wonder what the tipping point for a religion is?

All that aside, my best viewing experiences so far have come from visiting areas I know next to nothing about and being pleasantly surprised. One flat in Forest Hill was so lovely, I actually threw my hat in the ring to try and get it. I failed. But the experience gave me hope and I think that’s key. I came away from that viewing on a high, nervous and jittery. Not all viewings go that way though. I went to Lower Sydenham to see four flats. Two of which were the biggest I had seen so far. I walked away from the viewing feeling extremely stressed. On paper, I should have liked them, done the smart thing and thrown my hat in the ring. But I didn’t.  I just felt anxious and unhappy.  

Shortly after I saw, two amazing flats in Walthamstow. I applied, didn’t get either. But if anything, I have learned that house hunting is a ‘have faith but keep the cheque book nearby’ exercise. Somewhere out there is a hidey hole that I can call my own.